Marathons are hard you guys. That's why I'm doing another one right away (?)
It has been 3 weeks since I had the race of my life at Mo Cowbell. There's really no way around it... marathons are HARD. I'd love to be one of those guys that is out jogging and doing drills the day after a marathon and feeling great, but, I'm just not. As quickly as I THINK I should be able to bounce back from a hard effort like that, I'm always a bit humbled for a few solid weeks after.
My body has been bouncing back though. Slowly but surely my legs feel more and more sure underneath me. It feels like the rust has been washed off my joints a bit and I "remember" how to run again. That's a tad dramatic but mentally speaking that's where I've been. I took 8 days off after the race and then slowly started easing back in. Low miles, low intensity, days off, lots of "rehab".
I knew going into the fall that I wanted more than 1 chance to run either a PR "A race", and/or a Boston Qualifier time at 3:05, so I put the St. Jude's Memphis Marathon on the calendar back in August. You never know what your body is going to give you on race day and I wanted a plan B for for just in case Cowbell didn't go well. I wanted this race last year too but I signed up too late. Its tough going into the winter "break" after a lousy race. It feels like a "fail" and it's mentally hard to "thighburnate" (take time off) when you have to much junk to wade through up top. So I put Memphis in my back pocket just in case. But, Cowbell DID go well...it was as much of an A-race as I could have hoped for on that given day. No, I didn't qualify for Boston, but I made a HUGE leap in the right direction and went into that 8 days of recover with a mental FIRE burning. (Even thinking into next year.... OH the things I have planned for NEXT year.. BWAHAHA)
Fast forward a few weeks. I've been feeling out a few aches and pains but getting back into the training routine as best I can. Working core almost every night is giving me a routine mindset and a focus on being strong and fit for a 2nd attempt at 26.2 here in 39 days. HOLY COW MEMPHIS IS IN 39 DAYS. Sorry... I'm good. For real.
So what is the goal for Memphis? Well, that's a great question considering the fact that I don't exactly know the answer quite yet. I mean, on the one hand a BQ time is THE goal, right? But on the other hand, running solid races, celebrating a big PR from October, and running it with great friends is what it's all about. It really is and really should be. I am realistic about what it means to have only 9wks between two hard efforts like that and I know that MY body may not have two A-race days in it in that time frame.
BUT, didn't I also doubt what "my body had" before Cowbell too? Yep. I did. Mega doubt. Annoying doubt. Irrational and unprofessional doubt. And that day was incredible. You get where I'm going with this. Why shouldn't my goal for Memphis be to have another incredible day, riding on the wings of lingering fitness and another mini-peak training block? There's no reason why I can't. So, without defining some sort of concrete, minutes and seconds goal for Memphis, I'd like to say that my goal is to manage my mind and body well until race day and do everything I can (the things I can control) to have another GOOD race.
I can't define "Good race" as only being a PR. For me this race has other factors and other nuances that I want to enjoy. There's a team aspect to it and a newness in that I have never been to Memphis or run on this course before. There will be lots to take in, lots to enjoy. I want to ENJOY this sport, even during the long phases of intensity and desire to always be better and faster. So, yes, you might find me with some game-face these next few weeks as I prepare again, but I hope more often than not you find me rocking the smirk of enjoyment in doing what I love to do. More soon you guys...
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
PR Day - 3:06:26
Wow. Pretty much just, wow.
This year culminated into one massive effort this last Sunday as I toed the line at the MO' Cowbell Marathon here in St. Charles, MO. You know the story, you know the struggles, you know the anxiety-ridden ansty-pants I was leading up to this race. I didn't have anything to PROVE really...but I had a lot that I wanted to accomplish, BADLY. I've talked about Boston Qualifier times (mine needs to be 3:05, I've talked about wanting to break 3:10, I've talked about just learning to be satisfied with the result if my effort level is 'everything I have'. You KNOW the story. I know the story. Race day was upon me either way.....
I got to the starting line feeling fairly fresh, but uncertain of what my legs would really have. I think that's how we all feel, but, somehow taper time had made me feel out of touch with the effort level I would need to put out in order to really break through some barriers. I spotted my friends and team mates towards the front of the pack and we 'hugged it out' hard. I lined up with the 7-7:30/mi crews, closed my eyes and bowed my head for the National Anthem and then took a few big deep breaths as the horn sounded.
The first 2-4 miles I was finding a rhythm and choosing what felt best. I wanted a 1:35 half marathon to start (7:15 pace) and sitting behind a few tall runners and 'drafting' off their rhythm landed me right in that range. First 5 splits in 7:12, 7:07, 7:11, 7:07, 7:08.... I started to feel a bit of a relaxed stride and I started to let go of the "I wonder if my legs have anything" and I started to latch onto "I wonder how MUCH my legs have of THIS, and I wonder how long I'll feel this decent". It's a gamble and it's a game of mental trickery. When the body feels good you want to GO... but with 21 miles left that's an insane plan. So I settled in, shook out the arms, and relaxed everything.
Miles 6, 7, 8 went through New Town neighborhoods and was probably the most crowd-centric spot on the whole course. The course also doubles back on itself and a small riverwalk type canal that cuts through the little city of Newtown seperates you from your friends who are coming out as you're headed 'back'. I looked for buddies, pointed, yelled across the water... the crowd, photographers, etc.. forced my pace a little and those 3 miles went in 6:59, 6:58, 6:59. Sub 7's and I wasn't working for it... I felt relaxed. I felt fairly quick on my feet, and I felt like I was started to regain control of my body and what I was able to put out. That's a great feeling.
Miles 9, 10, 11 were interesting! I saw Jeanne S. and Libby on the side cheering as I started a little climb at 9 before the only real "HILL" on the course, which is most of mile 10 as it climbs up a long outer-road grade. I had spotted a professional looking girl up ahead who was running VERY smooth and even paced behind two guys who were setting her pace, so I moved up and latched onto their group, knowing the hill at 10 was right around the corner. As we turned for the hill the two big guys dropped off and the girl I was following looked around, freaked out a bit, and yelled back to me "Did I miss it?! Did I miss the cutoff for the half??! I think I need to go back!" I bounded up ahead of her and reassured her it was still ahead. I patted my hip as if to say, "C'mon, let's go, stick with me up this hill and I'll get you to the finish line. (she was running the half marathon) She settled in behind and next thing I knew we were all the way up the hill and rolling FAST down the other side. I looked at my Garmin and current pace showed 6:40 so I motioned to her that I needed to back off and save it... but gave the high-five of "go go go! Finish strong!".
I swooped down the huge hill around the corner and split off left onto the packed gravel Katy Trail as the other runners split right to finish the half marathon. My race was just beginning. I saw my Dad at mile 13 and he was shooting some pics but also waiting as planned to give me a handheld bottle filled with water and Perpetuem (by Hammer Nutrition). That bottle was JUST what I needed. My Dad yelled, "1:34, you're right on pace! Let's go!". I was still feeling pretty but I downed that bottle over the next 3 miles as I headed for 16 in. Miles 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 went in 7:00, 6:54, 7:06, 7:05, 7:03.
I was feeling strong but started to work. I could see that I was 2.5 minutes ahead of my 3:10 pace bracelet and I KNEW I had a great shot. I also knew I still had 10 miles left. 10 MILES. I couldn't think about it.. I said outloud to myself in the middle of nowhere, all by myself, "Just get to 20.. you know you can run 4 miles, RELAX.. SAVE something for 20... this is YOUR DAY. GO." I played the surge game over the next 4 miles and kept finding myself running in the 6:50 range before I'd yell at myself to slow down. I'd say, "NOT yet... save it" what seemed like 60 times in those 4 miles.
Miles 17, 18,19, 20 went in 7:00, 7:01, 7:07, 6:49. What? 6:49? Something was happening out there. I was starting to feel the fatigue and I knew I was WORKING, but no matter how gassed I felt at any one point, I was still hitting splits and still rolling along fairly quickly. 20 miles in 2:20...I can do math. I DID the math. I was nearing 4 minutes ahead of 3:10 pace at this point. Do the math right now yourself...... 3:10 minus 4 mintes meant ONE THING.... Boston was within reach. It was at this point that I decided I needed to really go for it. I could have relaxed and settled a bit this last 10k but I was in, I was committed, and I was ready to go waaaaay into the pain cave to try to snag a BQ that all of a sudden was right in my face and possibly within reach.
I could feel the steady energy from that Perpetuem still in my legs but my mechanics were starting to really hurt at this point. Joints, muscles, little things.. it all hurt. I could feel a few spots that were potential cramps welling up every so slightly, but a quick brisk walk past a water table to chug 3 cups helped calm that down a bit. I picked the pace back up and surprisingly STILL wasn't losing any time. Miles 21, 22, 23 went in 7:10, 7:12, 7:09.... this is where I cramped bad last year and lost time. That's ALL I could think about. But something else was happening. I was passing people left and right. I was latching on, pulling away, looking back and they were gone. At mile 23 I said outloud, "You can do this... you can run a 5k ANYDAY.. 5k left...
I hit 24 miles in 2:50. Again, I did the math. Holy COW it was still within reach. 2.2 miles in 15 minutes would be TOUGH to close out a marathon but I knew it was still possible. I was laboring, grunting, wincing, grimacing... race face was in full affect. All at once the day was catching up with my body and my 'engine' really went into the red zone at this point. Everything in me wanted to stop, but MORE than everything in me knew that every second on the clock from this point in mattered. Every stride... I took a couple deep breaths and tried to relax my form. I felt myself speed up a bit...but it HURT. Miles 24, 25 in 7:17, 7:20... the slowest miles of the day so far, but I hit the 1 mi to go mark in 2:58. 1 measley mile stood between me and 3:05... plus the .2 at the end, and let's be real for a second.. that .2 takes TIME. I was starting to tunnel vision a bit.. tingly fingers, mini cramps in the calf...
I kept glancing at my watch and seeing it tick by.. 3:03... 3:04... it slipped past 3:05 as I saw the last turn towards the last 400 meters in sight. I rounded the corner, saw the finishing banner and starting to sprint. Every last shred of what I had was now in play.. my left quad and calf immediately cramped hard, so I compensated and grit my teeth. Then my right hamstring went.. locked up.. I somehow ran through it, saw my Dad.. saw the clock..through a blurred haze I saw 3:06 and knew I had really smashed this one. I hit the finish line and sort of collapsed into some volunteers arms as they helped me walk over to the side. Big hugs from John B. and my Dad as I immediately started to mentally celebrate what had just happened.
The morning was a bit of a blur...but, there was also a new-found clarity to it. I realized that I had more control over my outcome than I was giving my mind and body credit for. I realized that you can't deny the months and months of work that goes into this even when doubt creeps in those last few weeks before race day. I realized that every cycle is going to have small pains, tweeks, freakouts, etc... but it is only when you're able to get to the starting line with a plan, a focus, and a willingness to push to a place you've never been before that great things can happen.
It was a breakthrough day.... but I'm still not done yet.
This year culminated into one massive effort this last Sunday as I toed the line at the MO' Cowbell Marathon here in St. Charles, MO. You know the story, you know the struggles, you know the anxiety-ridden ansty-pants I was leading up to this race. I didn't have anything to PROVE really...but I had a lot that I wanted to accomplish, BADLY. I've talked about Boston Qualifier times (mine needs to be 3:05, I've talked about wanting to break 3:10, I've talked about just learning to be satisfied with the result if my effort level is 'everything I have'. You KNOW the story. I know the story. Race day was upon me either way.....
I got to the starting line feeling fairly fresh, but uncertain of what my legs would really have. I think that's how we all feel, but, somehow taper time had made me feel out of touch with the effort level I would need to put out in order to really break through some barriers. I spotted my friends and team mates towards the front of the pack and we 'hugged it out' hard. I lined up with the 7-7:30/mi crews, closed my eyes and bowed my head for the National Anthem and then took a few big deep breaths as the horn sounded.
The first 2-4 miles I was finding a rhythm and choosing what felt best. I wanted a 1:35 half marathon to start (7:15 pace) and sitting behind a few tall runners and 'drafting' off their rhythm landed me right in that range. First 5 splits in 7:12, 7:07, 7:11, 7:07, 7:08.... I started to feel a bit of a relaxed stride and I started to let go of the "I wonder if my legs have anything" and I started to latch onto "I wonder how MUCH my legs have of THIS, and I wonder how long I'll feel this decent". It's a gamble and it's a game of mental trickery. When the body feels good you want to GO... but with 21 miles left that's an insane plan. So I settled in, shook out the arms, and relaxed everything.
Miles 9, 10, 11 were interesting! I saw Jeanne S. and Libby on the side cheering as I started a little climb at 9 before the only real "HILL" on the course, which is most of mile 10 as it climbs up a long outer-road grade. I had spotted a professional looking girl up ahead who was running VERY smooth and even paced behind two guys who were setting her pace, so I moved up and latched onto their group, knowing the hill at 10 was right around the corner. As we turned for the hill the two big guys dropped off and the girl I was following looked around, freaked out a bit, and yelled back to me "Did I miss it?! Did I miss the cutoff for the half??! I think I need to go back!" I bounded up ahead of her and reassured her it was still ahead. I patted my hip as if to say, "C'mon, let's go, stick with me up this hill and I'll get you to the finish line. (she was running the half marathon) She settled in behind and next thing I knew we were all the way up the hill and rolling FAST down the other side. I looked at my Garmin and current pace showed 6:40 so I motioned to her that I needed to back off and save it... but gave the high-five of "go go go! Finish strong!".
I swooped down the huge hill around the corner and split off left onto the packed gravel Katy Trail as the other runners split right to finish the half marathon. My race was just beginning. I saw my Dad at mile 13 and he was shooting some pics but also waiting as planned to give me a handheld bottle filled with water and Perpetuem (by Hammer Nutrition). That bottle was JUST what I needed. My Dad yelled, "1:34, you're right on pace! Let's go!". I was still feeling pretty but I downed that bottle over the next 3 miles as I headed for 16 in. Miles 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 went in 7:00, 6:54, 7:06, 7:05, 7:03.
I was feeling strong but started to work. I could see that I was 2.5 minutes ahead of my 3:10 pace bracelet and I KNEW I had a great shot. I also knew I still had 10 miles left. 10 MILES. I couldn't think about it.. I said outloud to myself in the middle of nowhere, all by myself, "Just get to 20.. you know you can run 4 miles, RELAX.. SAVE something for 20... this is YOUR DAY. GO." I played the surge game over the next 4 miles and kept finding myself running in the 6:50 range before I'd yell at myself to slow down. I'd say, "NOT yet... save it" what seemed like 60 times in those 4 miles.
Miles 17, 18,19, 20 went in 7:00, 7:01, 7:07, 6:49. What? 6:49? Something was happening out there. I was starting to feel the fatigue and I knew I was WORKING, but no matter how gassed I felt at any one point, I was still hitting splits and still rolling along fairly quickly. 20 miles in 2:20...I can do math. I DID the math. I was nearing 4 minutes ahead of 3:10 pace at this point. Do the math right now yourself...... 3:10 minus 4 mintes meant ONE THING.... Boston was within reach. It was at this point that I decided I needed to really go for it. I could have relaxed and settled a bit this last 10k but I was in, I was committed, and I was ready to go waaaaay into the pain cave to try to snag a BQ that all of a sudden was right in my face and possibly within reach.
I could feel the steady energy from that Perpetuem still in my legs but my mechanics were starting to really hurt at this point. Joints, muscles, little things.. it all hurt. I could feel a few spots that were potential cramps welling up every so slightly, but a quick brisk walk past a water table to chug 3 cups helped calm that down a bit. I picked the pace back up and surprisingly STILL wasn't losing any time. Miles 21, 22, 23 went in 7:10, 7:12, 7:09.... this is where I cramped bad last year and lost time. That's ALL I could think about. But something else was happening. I was passing people left and right. I was latching on, pulling away, looking back and they were gone. At mile 23 I said outloud, "You can do this... you can run a 5k ANYDAY.. 5k left...
I hit 24 miles in 2:50. Again, I did the math. Holy COW it was still within reach. 2.2 miles in 15 minutes would be TOUGH to close out a marathon but I knew it was still possible. I was laboring, grunting, wincing, grimacing... race face was in full affect. All at once the day was catching up with my body and my 'engine' really went into the red zone at this point. Everything in me wanted to stop, but MORE than everything in me knew that every second on the clock from this point in mattered. Every stride... I took a couple deep breaths and tried to relax my form. I felt myself speed up a bit...but it HURT. Miles 24, 25 in 7:17, 7:20... the slowest miles of the day so far, but I hit the 1 mi to go mark in 2:58. 1 measley mile stood between me and 3:05... plus the .2 at the end, and let's be real for a second.. that .2 takes TIME. I was starting to tunnel vision a bit.. tingly fingers, mini cramps in the calf...
I kept glancing at my watch and seeing it tick by.. 3:03... 3:04... it slipped past 3:05 as I saw the last turn towards the last 400 meters in sight. I rounded the corner, saw the finishing banner and starting to sprint. Every last shred of what I had was now in play.. my left quad and calf immediately cramped hard, so I compensated and grit my teeth. Then my right hamstring went.. locked up.. I somehow ran through it, saw my Dad.. saw the clock..through a blurred haze I saw 3:06 and knew I had really smashed this one. I hit the finish line and sort of collapsed into some volunteers arms as they helped me walk over to the side. Big hugs from John B. and my Dad as I immediately started to mentally celebrate what had just happened.
The morning was a bit of a blur...but, there was also a new-found clarity to it. I realized that I had more control over my outcome than I was giving my mind and body credit for. I realized that you can't deny the months and months of work that goes into this even when doubt creeps in those last few weeks before race day. I realized that every cycle is going to have small pains, tweeks, freakouts, etc... but it is only when you're able to get to the starting line with a plan, a focus, and a willingness to push to a place you've never been before that great things can happen.
It was a breakthrough day.... but I'm still not done yet.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Calm your SPLITS
It's Monday morning, 13 days out from race day. *Insert silent, internal freakout*
Just kidding. I'm not freaking out. It is officially "taper time" but I'm hoping to not fall off the train like what tends to happen during this time. Let's be honest, I'd LOVE to consider myself a "veteran" at this point. I'd love to say that I'm past the internal freakouts, that I'm past the mental war of thinking my body isn't ready, etc.. I AM a veteran, I've been doing this a long time, but there are mental aspects that are nearly unavoidable when you prepare to put your body through what it is about to go through. But for the most part, business as usual today as I start the next 2 weeks of taper.
I was MEGA inspired this weekend. Between watching our American distance runners crush it around the country and being present in spirit for my good friends and team mates while they crushed it, I had no option but to be filled with joy and pride! When you train with people (even long distance) all year long, it is such a rush to see them do well and set the bar high. It gives me courage and hope that I will be able to produce the kind of result I'm hoping for on race day. Soooo, what AM I hoping for on race day? GREAT QUESTION.
I'm not necessarily prepared to publicly proclaim every aspect of what I'm hoping for on race day, BUT, there are some specifics that I think are going to be very important when I get rolling on that Sunday morning. Let's talk it out:
1.) My first 13.1 mile split need to allow room for a negative split. PERIOD. I get caught up in the race moments just like everyone else, and with a flat marathon it's easy to go out thinking, "Hey, I'll just bank some time up front and even if I suffer on the back half I'll still come out ahead. WRONG. It doesn't work that way. Last year at this race I ran 1:36 for the opening half and lost a bunch of time between 23-26 with cramps. I think 1:36 is a great first half for me, so that's my goal again this year.
2.) My thought process on true MP (Marathon pace) needs to back UP a bit. All year I've had 6:50 on the brain for MP. I believe it's real, I know it's in my body, I know that would give me a sub 3 hour marathon, or close. BUT, according to how I trained this year and what I truly believe my body is capable of right NOW, an MP of 7:10-7:15 is more reasonable and attainable. Afterall, if my above statement of 1:36 first half is true, 7:15 pace gets me a 1:35 first half. I need to realize that and honor that, and NOT go out the first half in 1:32 (which my body is VERY capable of doing) It's hard, but dying out there at mile 20 is MUCH harder, and I'd obviously like to keep suffering to a minimum :)
3.) My mindset at the start needs to be joyful, calm, and PATIENT. I get too serious. I get too tense. I clinch my jaw and stare off into the distance like I'm about to murder somebody. I think this is a raw aspect of mental preparation, but, it doesn't lend itself to a relaxed settling of the mind and body from the start. For a 5k where it's 18 minutes of pure madness, sure... get your warrior paint on. But I know personally, for ME, I need to stop and smell the roses a bit. Like, literally I might find some roses and actually stop before the gun goes off to smell them. You get the picture.
4.) My nutrition needs to be realistic and SPOT ON. I know what works. I've been using Hammer Nutrition products for almost a decade now on and off, and certainly 100% this last year, and I KNOW what works for me. I have a fueling plan, and I need to be real about it and not think I can 'go without' for any extended period of time during race day. It needs to be consistent and it needs to be a huge focus if I'm going to avoid losing time to cramps late in the race.
That's about it... I need a top 4 to focus on instead of drowning in constant introspection during race day. I know all the little marathon do's and don'ts, but I think having a core block of top focuses will help. And from the one and only Josh Cox (50k American Record Holder, US Marathoner), his advice rings true and simple in my head: "When you feel good early in the race DON'T pick up the pace".
Alrighty then, my 'splits' have been calmed and my plan has been set. Now it's time to be sane and under control these next two weeks.
Just kidding. I'm not freaking out. It is officially "taper time" but I'm hoping to not fall off the train like what tends to happen during this time. Let's be honest, I'd LOVE to consider myself a "veteran" at this point. I'd love to say that I'm past the internal freakouts, that I'm past the mental war of thinking my body isn't ready, etc.. I AM a veteran, I've been doing this a long time, but there are mental aspects that are nearly unavoidable when you prepare to put your body through what it is about to go through. But for the most part, business as usual today as I start the next 2 weeks of taper.
I was MEGA inspired this weekend. Between watching our American distance runners crush it around the country and being present in spirit for my good friends and team mates while they crushed it, I had no option but to be filled with joy and pride! When you train with people (even long distance) all year long, it is such a rush to see them do well and set the bar high. It gives me courage and hope that I will be able to produce the kind of result I'm hoping for on race day. Soooo, what AM I hoping for on race day? GREAT QUESTION.
I'm not necessarily prepared to publicly proclaim every aspect of what I'm hoping for on race day, BUT, there are some specifics that I think are going to be very important when I get rolling on that Sunday morning. Let's talk it out:
1.) My first 13.1 mile split need to allow room for a negative split. PERIOD. I get caught up in the race moments just like everyone else, and with a flat marathon it's easy to go out thinking, "Hey, I'll just bank some time up front and even if I suffer on the back half I'll still come out ahead. WRONG. It doesn't work that way. Last year at this race I ran 1:36 for the opening half and lost a bunch of time between 23-26 with cramps. I think 1:36 is a great first half for me, so that's my goal again this year.
2.) My thought process on true MP (Marathon pace) needs to back UP a bit. All year I've had 6:50 on the brain for MP. I believe it's real, I know it's in my body, I know that would give me a sub 3 hour marathon, or close. BUT, according to how I trained this year and what I truly believe my body is capable of right NOW, an MP of 7:10-7:15 is more reasonable and attainable. Afterall, if my above statement of 1:36 first half is true, 7:15 pace gets me a 1:35 first half. I need to realize that and honor that, and NOT go out the first half in 1:32 (which my body is VERY capable of doing) It's hard, but dying out there at mile 20 is MUCH harder, and I'd obviously like to keep suffering to a minimum :)
3.) My mindset at the start needs to be joyful, calm, and PATIENT. I get too serious. I get too tense. I clinch my jaw and stare off into the distance like I'm about to murder somebody. I think this is a raw aspect of mental preparation, but, it doesn't lend itself to a relaxed settling of the mind and body from the start. For a 5k where it's 18 minutes of pure madness, sure... get your warrior paint on. But I know personally, for ME, I need to stop and smell the roses a bit. Like, literally I might find some roses and actually stop before the gun goes off to smell them. You get the picture.
4.) My nutrition needs to be realistic and SPOT ON. I know what works. I've been using Hammer Nutrition products for almost a decade now on and off, and certainly 100% this last year, and I KNOW what works for me. I have a fueling plan, and I need to be real about it and not think I can 'go without' for any extended period of time during race day. It needs to be consistent and it needs to be a huge focus if I'm going to avoid losing time to cramps late in the race.
That's about it... I need a top 4 to focus on instead of drowning in constant introspection during race day. I know all the little marathon do's and don'ts, but I think having a core block of top focuses will help. And from the one and only Josh Cox (50k American Record Holder, US Marathoner), his advice rings true and simple in my head: "When you feel good early in the race DON'T pick up the pace".
Alrighty then, my 'splits' have been calmed and my plan has been set. Now it's time to be sane and under control these next two weeks.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Joy Stealers, Beware
The last few weeks have been really good, in a lot of ways. Training is going well overall and I'm managing the Tweaks and Freaks as best I can as we lead up to race day. 38 days... to be exact. It's amazing how there always seems to be so much time left in the training block right up until you realize there's NO TIME LEFT in the training block. The summer whizzed by so fast. It's been a great summer so far, and I've enjoyed the 'juggle struggle' of managing life, kids, work, and training. It has been challenging trying to manage finances after my wife lost her job but she's back to working (thank you God) and we are getting closer to getting back on our feet during this transition.
I don't want to dwell on the physical side of things too much, but, there are some very real challenges to trying to run at a high level. (relative to what I've done in the past) This week I've been sick with whatever nasty head cold the kids and wife had. That's just LIFE. The kids pile on when I get home from work and there's no way to avoid the slobbery kisses and playtime. That's just a fact. And I SO don't hate it... I love those munchkins. So I'm not stressing about it. Fitness is high, and even though I feel like a snot-factory my head is still 'in the game'.
On another note, my foot issues seemingly have finally faded away for the most part. Phew. Now my achilles is lit up a little bit (as it always does the last 3rd of the training cycle) but I'm taping it and managing my workouts to not flare it up anymore. I've raced with tendinitis before and I'm prepared to do it again. I'm trying hard to stay OUT of my own head in this area, honestly. One day at a time.
On the training side, I'm two 20-milers into the cycle with at least 1 more to go before I taper in 3 weeks. I've had one 20 that was a SLOG and one in the pouring rain that felt incredible. This year I feel like I'm running with a higher level of calm (mental maturity?), in general. Maybe it's just patience while I'm out there but I've definitely made a conscious effort to reign it in a bit mid-run. It hasn't been a perfect cycle but miles are increasing, long runs are up to 20, speed work has been happening every Tuesday since March, etc... I'm putting the pieces together as best I know how and as best I can fit it into the busy dad life.
I feel like it's hard to respond with anything other than "I'm so busy" or "It's just really BUSY right now". That's just an auto-response that flows out of us even when we aren't paying attention. And, let's be real... it's true. But, it's never NOT busy. It's always going to be busy, for the rest of my life. This is adulthood, this is fatherhood, this is being a professional at work, this is trying to be as professional of an athlete as I can. This is it. We need to stop dwelling on how real the struggle is and start banking on how real the joy is. The JOY in these things is very real too. In fact, it's often times sitting in the shadow of struggle that we are allowing to dim our day(s). It's exhausting being around people that never allow the joys in their life to WIN over the struggles, and so help me if I ever become like that.
So I won't. I won't do it. I won't let the 'struggle' win. It's too easy that way. It's the LAZY, selfish route. I love running. Why? Because in a zillion ways it brings me JOY. I'm on a mission to rid myself of the things/people/thoughts/habits that steal my joy. Period.
Joy stealers...beware.
I don't want to dwell on the physical side of things too much, but, there are some very real challenges to trying to run at a high level. (relative to what I've done in the past) This week I've been sick with whatever nasty head cold the kids and wife had. That's just LIFE. The kids pile on when I get home from work and there's no way to avoid the slobbery kisses and playtime. That's just a fact. And I SO don't hate it... I love those munchkins. So I'm not stressing about it. Fitness is high, and even though I feel like a snot-factory my head is still 'in the game'.
On another note, my foot issues seemingly have finally faded away for the most part. Phew. Now my achilles is lit up a little bit (as it always does the last 3rd of the training cycle) but I'm taping it and managing my workouts to not flare it up anymore. I've raced with tendinitis before and I'm prepared to do it again. I'm trying hard to stay OUT of my own head in this area, honestly. One day at a time.
On the training side, I'm two 20-milers into the cycle with at least 1 more to go before I taper in 3 weeks. I've had one 20 that was a SLOG and one in the pouring rain that felt incredible. This year I feel like I'm running with a higher level of calm (mental maturity?), in general. Maybe it's just patience while I'm out there but I've definitely made a conscious effort to reign it in a bit mid-run. It hasn't been a perfect cycle but miles are increasing, long runs are up to 20, speed work has been happening every Tuesday since March, etc... I'm putting the pieces together as best I know how and as best I can fit it into the busy dad life.
I feel like it's hard to respond with anything other than "I'm so busy" or "It's just really BUSY right now". That's just an auto-response that flows out of us even when we aren't paying attention. And, let's be real... it's true. But, it's never NOT busy. It's always going to be busy, for the rest of my life. This is adulthood, this is fatherhood, this is being a professional at work, this is trying to be as professional of an athlete as I can. This is it. We need to stop dwelling on how real the struggle is and start banking on how real the joy is. The JOY in these things is very real too. In fact, it's often times sitting in the shadow of struggle that we are allowing to dim our day(s). It's exhausting being around people that never allow the joys in their life to WIN over the struggles, and so help me if I ever become like that.
So I won't. I won't do it. I won't let the 'struggle' win. It's too easy that way. It's the LAZY, selfish route. I love running. Why? Because in a zillion ways it brings me JOY. I'm on a mission to rid myself of the things/people/thoughts/habits that steal my joy. Period.
Joy stealers...beware.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Tweeks and freaks
Well I made it. (...through another week)
The last 2 weeks of training seems like it's lasted for 2 MONTHS. It's been odd, I'm not going to lie. It has been GOOD as well on many different levels, but I've had to adjust my thinking a bit to see it properly.
The latter half of the summer training cycle always brings about it's fair share of aches and pains but this time around I almost feel like each week I have something new to deal with. I got over (mostly) the issues in my feet, IT band, etc... but this last week my achilles/soleus lit up like a torch after the long workout on Tuesday. It's the same achilles that has caused issues in the past. Just out of nowhere though, even though I felt like I was being smart and doing the right things. (long warmups, controlled workout, long cooldown, etc...)
There's a part of me that feels discouraged when I feel tweeks like this, and my mind automatically goes down the path of "OMG I'M INJURED" when I start to feel these things. But this week I tried to address what I was feeling as a natural symptom of what I was putting my body through instead of immediately victimizing myself and throwing myself headlong into a bowl of icecream to wallow. (Not that THAT'S my usual method, but still) I took Wednesday off when it was supposed to be a double-day and I stayed calm about it, for the most part. I ran easy on Thursday, staying calm when I felt achy heading out the door. I knew my 20-miler was looming on Saturday and I HAD to give my body a chance to cool down.
Well, it DID cool down. I can't say I ran the best feeling 20-miler on Saturday though, because that would be a straight up lie. It felt pretty terrible, but my taped up achilles held up nicely, so that was a plus. It was about halfway through that run that I really had to say to myself, "Dude, stop acting like you're gonna accomplish your goals and train with intensity without having aches and pains. It's just not going to happen... get OVER yourself" It was a moment of clarity. A moment of calm in the midst of a run that was whipping my BUTT. The whole run really was a mental breakthrough of realizing that running on tired legs doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong...it means I'm training my body RIGHT.
In the midst of internalizing the freakouts I've been having lately, I think there ARE some legitimate questions that I should be asking and answering. Is there a glaring reason I'm having these physical issues? Am I doing something wrong? I am doing too much? Too fast? The wrong method? The wrong plan? All of it has to be at least looked into I think. And I'll be the first to admit... I've struggled over the years with doing too many workouts at a pace that is faster than what it should be. (...given where a more reasonable pace should be for ME on days that aren't "workouts" and should be taken easy) I have tried to address that this year and dial it back. I've been working on pace/effort like it's my JERB, actually.
Here's a fact: It just takes ONE workout that pushes your body a little bit and you can be achy, lit up, or even injured. It just takes ONE. For real. It's not always an accumulation of dumb decisions that causes the aches and pains, and I think that's a common and annoying misconception. You can blog all you want about what method is the BEST method but everybody is different and every BODY is different. I need to STAY the course and ignore the BS. I need to acknowledge that what I'm doing everyday with my body is difficult. I need to be at peace with the fact that with high intensity goals comes higher risks. Calculated risks, yes, but not every risk is 100% in my control. I WANT to do this... everyday! This is the journey I am choosing, and the ups and downs of this journey just come with the territory. I can either accept them and deal with them like a professional or I can be a whiney little victimized amateur with my attitude. I choose to be better... for me.
54 days until raceday #1. My spreadsheet of checkboxes is a little over halfway completed. All I can do is put my head down, keep my chin up, and live his thing 1 week... 1 day... 1 workout at a time, as honestly as I can.
The last 2 weeks of training seems like it's lasted for 2 MONTHS. It's been odd, I'm not going to lie. It has been GOOD as well on many different levels, but I've had to adjust my thinking a bit to see it properly.
The latter half of the summer training cycle always brings about it's fair share of aches and pains but this time around I almost feel like each week I have something new to deal with. I got over (mostly) the issues in my feet, IT band, etc... but this last week my achilles/soleus lit up like a torch after the long workout on Tuesday. It's the same achilles that has caused issues in the past. Just out of nowhere though, even though I felt like I was being smart and doing the right things. (long warmups, controlled workout, long cooldown, etc...)
There's a part of me that feels discouraged when I feel tweeks like this, and my mind automatically goes down the path of "OMG I'M INJURED" when I start to feel these things. But this week I tried to address what I was feeling as a natural symptom of what I was putting my body through instead of immediately victimizing myself and throwing myself headlong into a bowl of icecream to wallow. (Not that THAT'S my usual method, but still) I took Wednesday off when it was supposed to be a double-day and I stayed calm about it, for the most part. I ran easy on Thursday, staying calm when I felt achy heading out the door. I knew my 20-miler was looming on Saturday and I HAD to give my body a chance to cool down.
Well, it DID cool down. I can't say I ran the best feeling 20-miler on Saturday though, because that would be a straight up lie. It felt pretty terrible, but my taped up achilles held up nicely, so that was a plus. It was about halfway through that run that I really had to say to myself, "Dude, stop acting like you're gonna accomplish your goals and train with intensity without having aches and pains. It's just not going to happen... get OVER yourself" It was a moment of clarity. A moment of calm in the midst of a run that was whipping my BUTT. The whole run really was a mental breakthrough of realizing that running on tired legs doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong...it means I'm training my body RIGHT.
In the midst of internalizing the freakouts I've been having lately, I think there ARE some legitimate questions that I should be asking and answering. Is there a glaring reason I'm having these physical issues? Am I doing something wrong? I am doing too much? Too fast? The wrong method? The wrong plan? All of it has to be at least looked into I think. And I'll be the first to admit... I've struggled over the years with doing too many workouts at a pace that is faster than what it should be. (...given where a more reasonable pace should be for ME on days that aren't "workouts" and should be taken easy) I have tried to address that this year and dial it back. I've been working on pace/effort like it's my JERB, actually.
Here's a fact: It just takes ONE workout that pushes your body a little bit and you can be achy, lit up, or even injured. It just takes ONE. For real. It's not always an accumulation of dumb decisions that causes the aches and pains, and I think that's a common and annoying misconception. You can blog all you want about what method is the BEST method but everybody is different and every BODY is different. I need to STAY the course and ignore the BS. I need to acknowledge that what I'm doing everyday with my body is difficult. I need to be at peace with the fact that with high intensity goals comes higher risks. Calculated risks, yes, but not every risk is 100% in my control. I WANT to do this... everyday! This is the journey I am choosing, and the ups and downs of this journey just come with the territory. I can either accept them and deal with them like a professional or I can be a whiney little victimized amateur with my attitude. I choose to be better... for me.
54 days until raceday #1. My spreadsheet of checkboxes is a little over halfway completed. All I can do is put my head down, keep my chin up, and live his thing 1 week... 1 day... 1 workout at a time, as honestly as I can.
Monday, July 21, 2014
It's Possible
Something happened...and I don't know WHAT it was. But it was good.
The last week of training has been probably the best, most interesting, most thought-provoking week I've had all year. Outside of getting my miles up over 50 for the week (with 2 rest days) I feel like something happened. Some sort of synapse-related, lungs/legs THING happened this week. I've been really working this year to build speed and get my body to latch onto the next level, and this is something that mentally I'm slightly angsty about, given the little aches and pains I've been managing in the foot/other areas of my legs over the last month or so.
There has been such a mental push this year to MAKE it to Boston. I mean, I've been trying since I was 17, but this year feels different. A BQ time (3:05, 7:01 pace) is something I feel is well within my reach, but it is a PUSH. There's no way around it. There's no way for my body to get there without making changes. It is not enough anymore to just put in a training cycle at easy run pace and rely on long slow runs to get me over the hump. It's just.. not. I've never been a believer that your legs will magically do something for you on race day that you haven't learned how to do (or at least very close to it ) in training, over and over again. I guess my style tends to link up more with the concepts of "race simulation" type runs that get your head and legs wrapped around the idea and FEEL of running faster, comfortably. It is working for me, both mentally and physically. But there's obviously a drawback to that, and it's the risk of getting injured. And that's something I've wrestled with over the last 5 years pretty heavily. (both in theory, and in physical consquences of dealing with injuries)
So what HAPPENED this week? Well, Wednesdays are my typical double-day with 5 miles in the AM and 5 miles in the PM. It's a great aerobic day of teaching the legs to recover but also to run in the heat of the afternoon while they are tired. My first 5 in the AM felt fine, and I took it easy. But in the afternoon something was firing in the legs that I couldn't ignore. First mile in 6:45, which was reasonable given the climb to get out of my neighborhood. But once that ticked over I found another gear, and another, and another. I knew I was pushing hard but I felt like I was in control. I wasn't DYING. I wasn't in oxygen debt. I was just, hauling. The last two miles were both sub 5:55 pace, and that's something that has never happened during a training run before. Ever. College included.
Was it maybe a bit unsafe? YES. I felt guilty about it actually. I felt like there was no way I WASN'T going to pay for that in some way. I felt like I was setting a bad example. I felt like it was unnecessary... but I couldn't ignore what was happening. My legs felt invincible. There was still gas in the tank even. I was shocked. It felt weird to be laughing at myself (outloud) and awkwardly fist-pumping, alone on some random neighborhood side-street where I finished up. And it was then that I uttered out loud the words that have stuck with me all week: "I guess it's possible". I rode the high for the rest of that evening. I guess it's possible. It's possible to not see light at the end of the tunnel for weeks on end of nose-to-the-grind training and injury freakouts, and then all in one moment come shooting out of the tunnel like an out of control rocket with a smirk that won't go away.
This last Saturday I put in 15 miles at 6:50 pace, which was another distance/pace season best and certainly a best over the last SEVERAL years. I think I still had those 4, simple, intoxicating words filling just about every breath. I guess it's possible. It is now. I know it is. Did I wake up this morning with doubts? YUP. Sure did. That's what it means to be a human, and to wrestle with the day to day fears and struggles. But I got out the door, with a bit more pep in my step to start this new week, knowing that if I can just manage the balance for the remainder of these 11 weeks I have a real shot at doing something special in the marathon this year. And if that doesn't happen, at least I can say I laid it ALL out there and did everything in my power to ready myself for the task. No regrets.
It IS possible.
The last week of training has been probably the best, most interesting, most thought-provoking week I've had all year. Outside of getting my miles up over 50 for the week (with 2 rest days) I feel like something happened. Some sort of synapse-related, lungs/legs THING happened this week. I've been really working this year to build speed and get my body to latch onto the next level, and this is something that mentally I'm slightly angsty about, given the little aches and pains I've been managing in the foot/other areas of my legs over the last month or so.
There has been such a mental push this year to MAKE it to Boston. I mean, I've been trying since I was 17, but this year feels different. A BQ time (3:05, 7:01 pace) is something I feel is well within my reach, but it is a PUSH. There's no way around it. There's no way for my body to get there without making changes. It is not enough anymore to just put in a training cycle at easy run pace and rely on long slow runs to get me over the hump. It's just.. not. I've never been a believer that your legs will magically do something for you on race day that you haven't learned how to do (or at least very close to it ) in training, over and over again. I guess my style tends to link up more with the concepts of "race simulation" type runs that get your head and legs wrapped around the idea and FEEL of running faster, comfortably. It is working for me, both mentally and physically. But there's obviously a drawback to that, and it's the risk of getting injured. And that's something I've wrestled with over the last 5 years pretty heavily. (both in theory, and in physical consquences of dealing with injuries)
So what HAPPENED this week? Well, Wednesdays are my typical double-day with 5 miles in the AM and 5 miles in the PM. It's a great aerobic day of teaching the legs to recover but also to run in the heat of the afternoon while they are tired. My first 5 in the AM felt fine, and I took it easy. But in the afternoon something was firing in the legs that I couldn't ignore. First mile in 6:45, which was reasonable given the climb to get out of my neighborhood. But once that ticked over I found another gear, and another, and another. I knew I was pushing hard but I felt like I was in control. I wasn't DYING. I wasn't in oxygen debt. I was just, hauling. The last two miles were both sub 5:55 pace, and that's something that has never happened during a training run before. Ever. College included.
Was it maybe a bit unsafe? YES. I felt guilty about it actually. I felt like there was no way I WASN'T going to pay for that in some way. I felt like I was setting a bad example. I felt like it was unnecessary... but I couldn't ignore what was happening. My legs felt invincible. There was still gas in the tank even. I was shocked. It felt weird to be laughing at myself (outloud) and awkwardly fist-pumping, alone on some random neighborhood side-street where I finished up. And it was then that I uttered out loud the words that have stuck with me all week: "I guess it's possible". I rode the high for the rest of that evening. I guess it's possible. It's possible to not see light at the end of the tunnel for weeks on end of nose-to-the-grind training and injury freakouts, and then all in one moment come shooting out of the tunnel like an out of control rocket with a smirk that won't go away.
This last Saturday I put in 15 miles at 6:50 pace, which was another distance/pace season best and certainly a best over the last SEVERAL years. I think I still had those 4, simple, intoxicating words filling just about every breath. I guess it's possible. It is now. I know it is. Did I wake up this morning with doubts? YUP. Sure did. That's what it means to be a human, and to wrestle with the day to day fears and struggles. But I got out the door, with a bit more pep in my step to start this new week, knowing that if I can just manage the balance for the remainder of these 11 weeks I have a real shot at doing something special in the marathon this year. And if that doesn't happen, at least I can say I laid it ALL out there and did everything in my power to ready myself for the task. No regrets.
It IS possible.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Benevolently Letting Others Gawk
Patience BRO, I said to myself...
It's been a decent last 10 days or so since I raced on the 4th of July. The foot seems to be healing but is still THERE (which is good, because I need it). No, the oddly tight and little tender top of the foot is still THERE. I can still run and put miles in with no discomfort, but after runs it gets a little iffy. I'm working through it slowly and starting to ramp back up this last week. SWEET. Tad bit of mental mojo coming back too. Double days, calories for miles, getting lean....Even good runs after injury symptoms feel doubtful and non-satisfying sometimes though, so it's good to have some fire back.
Life in the Hammer Nutrition lane is going really well. I'm loving the products and even more I'm loving the people I'm connecting with that I get to share these products WITH. There's nothing like getting to be a part of the very beginning of people's running/athlete lives as they find themselves and latch onto the fire that they see burning in others around them. It's intoxicating! It's refreshing. It's amazing. It's good to remember what it was like when everything was new, and it's even more important to seek out that energy in yourself again. New and REnew, err'day.
Life in the kiddos lane is CUTE. It's just straight up TOO cute to handle most days. My man-ovaries are dying lately. Exploding. "Ess-pwoding", as my daughter would say. These kids know more about running, exercise, and being active on a daily basis than I ever did at their age, I love that. I love that they are into it and inquisitive and they see it around them everyday.
"Dad, are you gonna take a WUN? Are you? Are you taking a WUN wight noww?? Ven why are you wearing vose WUNNING shorts and not a SHIRT onnn?".
"Well dad is going to BBQ in these shorts because.....well... because... because they are really comfortable.. and... because daddy can wear whatever he wants to wear, right?!? Yeah, I JUST WANT TO OK". .............. and it's THIS face that gets you.. EVERY. TIME.
So much of our time is spent on trying to find what is NEXT, and trying to plan for it so that whatever is next doesn't surprise us and catch us off gaurd. We want that. We want that control and that stability. But there's something to be said for seeking to enjoy what is NOW, and to enjoy what is happening TODAY. Don't get me wrong, there's a huge piece of my life that is planning/organizing/dreaming/wanting/longing. It's who I am.
But, that little face over there on the yoga mat is gonna be in highschool someday and I'll be wrecked if I miss out on her, and on NOW because I'm wearing my "next" blinders. And that little protective snuggler-dude brother.... I've gotta be IN IT with them. I can't just pray for bedtime to come quickly so I can eat an entire pizza in peace. (although thinking back to a time on JULY 14th, 2014 when that happened.... yikes.) NO way man. Somebody slap the crap outta me if I ever start to get that way. These kids ARE my life. *que Scottish Braveheart accent* "I want ta LEVV"
This MAY have been the most dis-joined blog post of all time, but, its what was on my mind, so pretty much DEAL WITH IT. I mean, "Blog" stands for "Benevolently Letting Others Gawk", so, gawk away at my disjointed blog.
Also I should probably figure out what blog really means.
It's been a decent last 10 days or so since I raced on the 4th of July. The foot seems to be healing but is still THERE (which is good, because I need it). No, the oddly tight and little tender top of the foot is still THERE. I can still run and put miles in with no discomfort, but after runs it gets a little iffy. I'm working through it slowly and starting to ramp back up this last week. SWEET. Tad bit of mental mojo coming back too. Double days, calories for miles, getting lean....Even good runs after injury symptoms feel doubtful and non-satisfying sometimes though, so it's good to have some fire back.
Life in the Hammer Nutrition lane is going really well. I'm loving the products and even more I'm loving the people I'm connecting with that I get to share these products WITH. There's nothing like getting to be a part of the very beginning of people's running/athlete lives as they find themselves and latch onto the fire that they see burning in others around them. It's intoxicating! It's refreshing. It's amazing. It's good to remember what it was like when everything was new, and it's even more important to seek out that energy in yourself again. New and REnew, err'day.
Life in the kiddos lane is CUTE. It's just straight up TOO cute to handle most days. My man-ovaries are dying lately. Exploding. "Ess-pwoding", as my daughter would say. These kids know more about running, exercise, and being active on a daily basis than I ever did at their age, I love that. I love that they are into it and inquisitive and they see it around them everyday.
"Dad, are you gonna take a WUN? Are you? Are you taking a WUN wight noww?? Ven why are you wearing vose WUNNING shorts and not a SHIRT onnn?".
"Well dad is going to BBQ in these shorts because.....well... because... because they are really comfortable.. and... because daddy can wear whatever he wants to wear, right?!? Yeah, I JUST WANT TO OK". .............. and it's THIS face that gets you.. EVERY. TIME.
So much of our time is spent on trying to find what is NEXT, and trying to plan for it so that whatever is next doesn't surprise us and catch us off gaurd. We want that. We want that control and that stability. But there's something to be said for seeking to enjoy what is NOW, and to enjoy what is happening TODAY. Don't get me wrong, there's a huge piece of my life that is planning/organizing/dreaming/wanting/longing. It's who I am.
But, that little face over there on the yoga mat is gonna be in highschool someday and I'll be wrecked if I miss out on her, and on NOW because I'm wearing my "next" blinders. And that little protective snuggler-dude brother.... I've gotta be IN IT with them. I can't just pray for bedtime to come quickly so I can eat an entire pizza in peace. (although thinking back to a time on JULY 14th, 2014 when that happened.... yikes.) NO way man. Somebody slap the crap outta me if I ever start to get that way. These kids ARE my life. *que Scottish Braveheart accent* "I want ta LEVV"
This MAY have been the most dis-joined blog post of all time, but, its what was on my mind, so pretty much DEAL WITH IT. I mean, "Blog" stands for "Benevolently Letting Others Gawk", so, gawk away at my disjointed blog.
Also I should probably figure out what blog really means.
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